Susan Jaffe retired from American Ballet Theatre in June 2002. She’s 40 and she’s refreshingly not paranoid about discussing her age. She’s a forthright woman with a quick wit; she believes a clear head and hard work is the way to overcome life’s obstacles: with a career like hers as proof, she must be right. I had occasion to speak with her about two months before her farewell performance.

Susan Jaffe was first exposed to dance at the age of 8 and began her training at the Maryland School of Ballet. In 1978, at age 17, she was taken into A.B.T.’s second company where Mikhail Baryshnikov, then Artistic Director, predicted great things for her.

Two years later she was accepted into the main company. Tales loom large of her being plucked out of the corps to debut at a Kennedy Center performance, but her own telling of these stories makes one smile. She tells of seeing the rehearsal schedule: there were the usual big stars listed, followed by “Jaffe”.

“I couldn’t believe it. I actually went to the office to ask if it was a mistake.”

But it wasn’t a mistake and she began to rehearse the part. Two days before the performance, Jaffe was chosen to replace Gelsey Kirkland on opening night. She would be dancing with the renowned Alexander Godunov. She was in shock, but with only two days to prepare, there was nothing to do but get down to work.

“I’m not even sure it happened but for two pieces of proof that tell me it was real. First, there’s the picture of Sasha and I dancing in the performance. And then there’s this memory I have—the costume had a veil that covered my eyes and I remember being on stage, waiting to go, and I was shaking so hard the cloth was rippling. I’ll never forget that quivering veil.”

It was a good start. Baryshnikov pushed her career and she focused on the work, but then 1989 hit like a freight train. Baryshikov left and the leadership of the company was passed to Jane Hermann.

“Jane wanted to make a statement, as I guess all directors do, and she began to push other dancers. I went from opening nights to fifth cast for a Wednesday matinee.”

“I said to myself ‘Okay, this is her company now, but it’s my family. Mine. And I’m not going to give up my place here.’”

Aside from the performances dropping off, she also suffered a dire case of tendonitis. In carving her way through all this adversity, one sees the underpinnings of the philosophy which has carried her this far.

“I severed a couple of harmful relationships and worked on… just breathing. I think, when you hit a roadblock, you can either give up, become bitter and fail, and then go on to some other life—and maybe it will be a good life, but it won’t be the one you would have had; or you can clear your head and do whatever work is needed to get you through the hard times. Up until then, I never had to have faith in myself. Misha had faith in me. All I had to do was work hard. But now I needed to find faith in myself.”

And so it was in this disastrous year that Jaffe sought coaching from Irina Kolpakova. She learned nuance, details, and rich subtleties, but at some point, it gradually dawned on her “Where is Susan Jaffe in all this?” She was doing everything she was taught, but the movement was coming from the outside in. Then came a very difficult period for mentor and dancer. Jaffe asked Kolpakova to sit and watch and not say anything. Jaffe threw away everything they had worked on and began to rebuild it from the inside, as herself.

“I said to her ‘Irina, I love you, and I know this is hard, but I really need you to do this for me.’ Irina would keep trying to say something and I’d keep shushing her. It was very hard for both of us.”

Jaffe also studied with an old friend and theater director Byam Stevens. His approach forced Jaffe to hash out her own characterizations.

“He’d come to performances and take notes. Afterwords he’d go over them with me: ‘This section isn’t clear. And you told me what you wanted to do in this other section, but I’m not seeing it.’”

In 1992, Kevin McKenzie took the helm of American Ballet Theatre. It was also around this time that Jaffe began to tour internationally.

“I remember being in Stuttgart—we were doing Onegin—and there was the theater and a beautiful park and then the hotel where I was living. One day I saw Marcia Haydée sitting at the outdoor café—I just love her—so I went over and sat down in the chair across from her and said ‘Tell me all about Tatiana,’” (her role in Onegin), “I was like a five-year-old.”

But Haydee was agreeable and explained a thing or two.

“Marcia told me the scene with the mirror was not about a well-mannered girl having romantic fantasies. It was a wet dream, really wet!”

Ah, the tidbits one gleans when studying with the masters.

Back in New York, McKenzie noticed her development and cast her in the title role of Manon. Once again, choice performances on home turf began to come her way.

In 1995, José Manuel Carreño joined the company and the two began to partner together.

“José is my favorite partner. I’ve had a lot of great partners, but he’s the best. He’s such a guy. I was in rehearsal and he was this masculine presence standing behind me. We had the whole male/female thing going on. He’d lift me and I thought ‘Oh, I like this.’ I told Kevin ‘You have to let us work together. He has to be my partner!’”

And so it was: the two partnered regularly for years and were recognized for having the elusive “chemistry” which makes partnerships great.

“José is good for me because he never gets nervous. I do. When we’re dancing, I play to him and it gives him something to respond to; drawing him out is something I think I bring to our partnership.”

“In 1996, everyone said something about me had changed. At the time I had really gotten into meditation. It gave me a deeper understanding of life and that enhanced my performances.”

In an earlier interview, she was described as a “steak-loving woman” but when asked about maintaining weight she notes “I never used to have a problem with my weight, but I quit smoking a couple of years ago. Now I can’t even look at a steak without gaining weight.”

When asked if she has a favorite choreographer, she doesn’t even hesitate.

“Jiri Kylian is king. He works on levels that are so… deep. I remember seeing a performance where he had given a solo to Gary Chryst. Gary was over 40, he was dancing in NDT III. He came on and did this solo, I don’t remember the name of it, and it was so amazing. He was dancing but it wasn’t just steps. It was symbols and meanings… everything that dance should be.”

This June she’ll dance her final performance with A.B.T. as Giselle. What lies ahead?

“I’d like to get into acting. I’m working on a play by Paul Ciufo and he’s also helping me with my memoirs. But if the right project comes along I’ll be dancing again.”

Learn more about American Ballet Theatre at their Web site.